• me in hell: god what did I do to deserve this!
  • god: you masturbated
  • me: tru
  • god: tru

retiredjesus:

*fucks something serious up*

me: shit my bad

aminaabramovic:

aziz ansari’s voice in the back of my head faintly telling me to treat myself is going to be my downfall

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet,
Fall Out Boy

(Background image source)

Color My Inbox

swag-on-jdbieber:

Deep Red - I’m in love with you.
Red
 - I love you.
Pink
 - I think you’re cute.
Blue
 - You’re amazing.
Rose - You’re pretty
Purple
 - You’re hot.
Plum - I would fuck you.
Violet - I would date you.
Aqua - I could stay on your blog for hours.
Lavender
 - You are my tumblr crush.
Orange - I want to get to know you.
Tangerine
 - We have a lot in common.
Amber
 - I wish you would notice me.
Cream - I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.

beinggigantic:

how to lead a fulfilling life:

  1. lean wit it
  2. rock wit it

kndall:

when ur trying to cheer your friends up bc they’re sadimage

clearbay:

I LOVE ORDERING THINGS FROM ONLINE ITS LIKE SOMEONE SENT YOU A PRESENT BUT YOU SENT YOURSELF THAT PRESENT 

Confidence goals: Kanye West 

Attitude goals: Rihanna

Money goals: Beyonce